(expletive) friends reuni*n tour

OUR DIRTY DIRTY JEW DIARY: (REAR) ENTRY

2006-07-20T05:37:00.000-04:00

DEAR DIARY. WINKING SMILEY FACE.

I learned three things today that made me really feel like I've lived my life like a candle in the wind. And that's not the only good news, it's not puffy anymore! I feel so good about myself. WINKING SMILEY FACE!

1) Sometimes you have to put your life on hold and tell That Man By The Fence Selling Drugs that you just, 'don't have time. And, 'maybe later.'

Sometimes. But very rarely.

Rarely, like, he's-not-there, kind of "sometimes." Because then you can't.

2) I took a nap around 11pm tonight thinking THIS IS IT! IT'S SHOWTIME but woke up 30 minutes later. And now it's an UNGODLY 6 AM and I'm still wide awake and don't have a predicted sleep E.T.A. until noon-ish. I thought about brushing up on some Spanish since I've become very good at saying such premium foreign things like EL HOMBRE NEGRO ES CORRIANDO and EL GATO ES NEGRO and EL NINA ES NEGRO. But upon that I realised there's nothing else to really learn.

3) A new girl was hired at work this week so I felt throwing in a "THOSE DAMN PORTUGUESE PEOPLE!" here and there would be really funny. There wasn't much of a lesson in this it was just really funny. Oh how I laughed. For hours if not minutes at a time!

"Who are you?"

TOPICS OF IMMEDIATE DISCUSSION.

2006-07-12T11:30:00.000-04:00

While we're busy con-cock-ting our greatest tits album, we leave you with these random snipets from the EXPLETIVE DIARY to get a feel of our train of thought on this next album. Enjoy, you stupid homos.

Dear Diary,
- Offroading is nice!
- The List
- Let's roll with it?
- Le Blog
- A-hole, not
- We hate wifi
- What's with ovaries
- Grow up Canada and get some balls
- Chlamydia cannot be deflowered (STD's rock!)
- Sharp Peckers are key
- FAG! FAG! Breasts x 2

What does this mean? I don't know. But listen to some OF MONTREAL and maybe it will make sense. or not.

R'ing you gently with his words,

Aiden

THE INTERNET: FOR LOSERS?

2006-05-28T07:39:00.000-04:00

Good question.

During our last Team Band meeting, Aiden and I decided that MSN etiquette could be somewhat of a touchy subject. The Innertech altogether became an Anarchistic society sometime last Christmas when Aiden's limber mom decided to join MySpace. So we came up with some rules to tame the chaos, that although couldn't be legally regulated, are now just strongly suggested:

First, when logging in to MSN, it's only polite to be the one that messages the people already online on your list -- not the other way around. As with walking in to a room, greeting others would be your responsibility. It's rude for someone else to say hello before you can, beating you to the punch. That's rude and that's crazy startling if you've just popped a few vitamins you've found in a locker or just took a sip of that Martini that you roofied.

Second, emoticons are a touchy subject. They're also lame. So, one emoticon per conversation; or actually, just avoid it altogether. And don't even get me started on those Winks. Fuck you, Winks! Emoticons won't make you friends. Fact: Emotionally disparate individuals are three times less likely to find a mate after using emoticons three times or more in the span of one conversation. You'll only be hurting yourself.

Third, Away mode is self-explanatory. Away mode means DON'T MESSAGE ME, I'LL MESSAGE YOU. IF I'M HERE. WHICH I'M NOT. FOR YOU. SO I'M NOT GOING TO.

And friends, don't be afraid to use the Block function. It's also OK to press Close. You don't answer the door when you don't feel like it now, do you?

And it's free.

Sunny
x

I WISH I KNEW HOW TO QUIT YOU

2006-04-25T02:21:00.000-04:00

The worst part about quitting smoking is the uncontrollable outrages, the irrational cravings and the baffling realization of zero will power.

Oh wait, that's just a regular day.

KEEDING!

2006-02-25T17:18:00.000-05:00

Sarcasm so much more complicated than I thought.

I've never really stopped to think about it but this band member (me) really stopped to think about sarcasm, and I thought about it long and hard - the way Aiden likes it - like one would ponder global warming; women in the workplace; stuff like that.

It all started when (cue flashback sequence) ...

My boss at work says, "I'm changing the schedule, is anyone changing their shifts around or planning not to work here anymore?"

A question like that invites sarcasm. I raised my hand.

And then I explained I was just kidding out of my boss' concern. Maybe it was in poor taste to kid around about quitting to your boss, but if you can't joke about that then what can you. And what would be the point.

This was even funnier. Tap this.

"Do the things you fucking believe in, alright?" Billie Joe Armstrong, Green Day at the MTV Music Awards.

Fuck you Mariah Carey. Fuck every other musician who tells me to pack up my Louis Vuitton. You deserve a GFY.

la cocaina is no good for you.

2006-02-22T23:38:00.000-05:00

I know there's something different about the site. Something everyone's been looking at and thinking and questioning and wondering with your eager little prying peckers. Since you've all been wanting to ask or hear some sort of news on it, and I know this for a FACT, I'm just gonna come out and say it. I'll say it with a song in my heart and more so a PICTURE than words. Or a picture WITH words. Whatever.

Sunny has been lost from the blog due to her new found obsession with BITCH TITS of all kinds. While I do agree, they are quite snazzy at times, she has a gone to a whole new disturbing level with her obsession. She has a problem and while I do find that not having her in the band at the moment makes me feel very powerful and supreme, we're gonna have to save her from this. run on sentence.

On a side note, the expletives have recently started documenting our crazy exciting lives (some more so exciting than others(aiden(not sunny(hers is the less exciting one)))). So check back soon for some new development on that END.

Y'ALL WANNA SEE ME DANCE!

aid

FAG awards

2006-02-04T19:27:00.000-05:00

Well its that time of year again for the bi-annual awards in which we tell you in FACT whats the what in the best stuff in the history of the universe. ha ha! bi.

Best Dream Sequence in a TV Show:
Claire's "You Light Up My Life" from Six Feet Under

Best Burger Joint:
Johnny Rockets

Best Breakfast Place:
The Grille

Best Vulgar Term For Genitals:
Musty Cunt

Best Thrift Store:
Black Market, Value Village

Best Offensive Term:
FAG!

Best Classy Talk Show Segment:
Oprah’s "My Favorite Things"

Best Facial Hair:
Soul Patch

Best Pop Music Video:
What You Waiting For – Gwen Stefani

Best Trashy Talk Show Segment:
Montel's Silvia Brown

Best Gum:
Excel Spearmint

Best Candy:
Hot Lips

Best Uniform:
NYC Police

Best Fast Food Joint:
McDonald's

Best STD:
Chlamydia

Best Online Slang:
ROFLMAO

Best Canadian:
Emily Haines

Best Canadian Band:
Metric

Best Track on Old World Underground:
IOU

Best Dance Move:
Air guns and "the microwave"

Best Tracks on an Album:
1, 7, 8, 3

Best Reality Show:
Rock School, R U the Girl

Best Footwear:
Uggs, Chucks

Best Colors:
Black, Olive Green, Purple

Best Accents:
British, Russian

Best Handheld Digital Device:
Digital Camera

Best Coffee:
Starbucks

Best Restaurant:
Crispy Rolls

Best Numbers:
2, 3, 6, 9, 7

Best NA Cities:
NY, LA

Best Acronym:
HEP-D (Hustle Electric Panic Disco)

Best Simpsons Episode:
Rock N' Roll Camp

Best Accessory:
Buttons, Belts

Best Truck Stop:
Husky House

Best Six Feet Under Death:
Rapture

Best Holiday:
Dia De Los Muertos!

Best Comedy:
40 Year Old Virgin, Life Aquatic

Best Ice Cream:
Cappucino, Vanilla, as in, NO YOU DI'NT

Best Beer:
Corona, Moosehead

Best Actor:
Johnny Depp

Best Comedic TV Family:
The Bluths/ Funkes

Best Dramatic TV Family:
The Fishers

Best News Reporter (Fiction or Non):
Stephen Colbert

Best Fruit:
Watermelon

Best Vegetable:
Broccoli

Best Names:
Tommy, Gwen, Gia

Worst Names:
Daivd, which BTW this is a BEST OF COMPILATION

Best Greeting:
"Wazzzup!"

WE'RE STILL HERE

2006-01-30T21:45:00.000-05:00

The royal We have actually been filming music videos and doing a whole lot of whatever it is that we do when we're not blogging. Concerting. Visiting airports and watching airplanes only to realise that the last ones had left hours ago. Plotting.

In the Chinese zodiac, this is the year of the Dog. As an 1982-er, this is officially my year. I don't really know what this means. But I feel special.

Oh CSI's back on. More later!

Sunny
x

TAPPED FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME

2005-12-10T04:44:00.000-05:00

Aiden Rhodes suffered a mild stroke last Thursday night at an (adult) video store parking lot in the 'burbs when the musician and his Saturn got tapped in the tail end by an old man in a Buick who was coasting in reverse.

"I tried to blow him to get his attention," said Rhodes. "But he didn't even say 'thank you,'"

Rhodes, 17, a native to the suburbs, was backing it up in to his parking spot when a collision could have taken his life. The musician's train of thought was blindsided by the reversing senior citizen.

By the time Rhodes turned around to see who tapped his trunk, the assailant had eventually fled the scene at a speed upwards 10 km/h. to which Rhodes, in reaction, yelled "ASSHOLE!" in to the gentleman's general direction.

Drivers and pedestrians familiar with this parking lot agree that this lot is a hazard and a magnet for some of the city's worst drivers.

"Some fag in a Saturn almost hit me," said one customer leaving the video store.

The Saturn is ok but feelings have been hurt.

WAR ON LOVE

2005-11-07T21:37:00.000-05:00

when this rock star got her ink done, it took a lot of thought and deciding if it was something i could commit to for a lifetime. based on basic simplicity and meaningfulness i decided on "love".

so even as common yet meaningful "love" is, how did ashlee simpson bastardize my world? click here.

SPEED, SPEED & TIME

2005-11-03T01:15:00.000-05:00

"there's no time...there's never any time!" oh, jessie. whatever happened to you. what. ever. happened.

speaking of showgirls i, too, have valuable goodies to contribute.

part time, i call people like yourself during dinner time to see if you'd like to learn how to dance. usually, i get hung up on and get told things even too expletive for the expletive friends but sadly i hear a lot of "we definitely don't have enough time to learn how to dance, but thanks,".

part time, i also try to save you from dressing your pre-tween children in high class Whore Barbie outfits and make sure you're aware of the function of your purchase. if it's not enough these situations are dealt with in the store and right before i'm about to leave for a break or to go home, sometimes these situations are dealt with over the phone due to time constraint. people don't like wasting their time going from store to store not finding what they want - some people call that "shopping." and i'll do it for you anyway.

and of course part time, i'm one in a pair of fairly busy and tired (aiden) rock stars that manage to conquer the world and still have time to rock out live.

the best part about being an expletive friend, status or NO status - is always finding the time to dance and dress ourselves like we were the whoriest Whore Barbies on the block. there's 24 hours in every day, which means there's always time to listen to/ruin your favourite song, be randomly nice to people, mock your mortal enemy and and and there's always always always time to DANCE.

(cue whitney houston)

I'M EVERY WOMAN!
(shut up)
IT'S ALL IN ME!
ANYTHING YOU WANT DONE BABY!
I'LL DO IT NATURALLY

DANCING IN SATAN'S COMPANY

2005-10-17T21:26:00.000-04:00

DISCO.

so lately i've been working hard with my 2nd new job DANCE COMMANDING while i get my learn on at (rock) school full-time. i've been neglecting my EXPLETIVE duties and if you wish to speak man on man please do contact us: expletivefriends@hotmail.com

don't be shy.

aiden on the other hand has been making a mockery out of the drive-in movie going experience by forcing me to whip SHOES at gould (gould comma marshall, my sunfire) and cheating at the game, "20 questions". he's also busy going through puberty (finally) just in time for his birthday coming up next month. just a little more than a month before we can all wish him a HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND SHOVE IT, MISTER MANAGER!

the FRIENDS are working hard at making their sophomore album THE DEADLINE twice as violent, twice as old school, twice as heterosexual and twice as...good...as GUNS AND CANDY, our first album. we're working on one of our next singles "THIS SCENE (IS GETTING OLD)" and giving it a colourful, reggae, spoken-word hook.

go see ELIZABETHTOWN. it was excellent. and it has a great soundtrack, not suprisingly.

PS real posts: coming soon?

THAT'S SOME GUILTY PLEASURES ALRIGHT! and sunday song of the day ok

2005-10-04T01:54:00.000-04:00

Like any other living, breathing, working person on the earth I was full of it when I heard that dear old Babs and Barry were going to reunite and fill everyone's worlds with magical wonder one more time, before she dies. Hopefully. And how couldn't you know about this wondrous new cd/vinyl/tape/8-track coming out? It's got its very own COMMERCIAL, kids. And from it you can really tell how much they get along. Look how GENUINE they look leaning in closely, but not TOO CLOSE, to one another. It's HOT. See how painfully in love BS is? She's got the look.

Now while we would never actually take the time out of our valuable days to listen to one of her songs, we did grade them all by their titles and what we were doing while we read them. So here you have it.

1. Come Tomorrow

Aid: I like where its going, but not where its been. Try harder Babs. 4.5

Sunny: Don't listen to that whore, Babs, this one reminds me of that new Pussycat Dolls song. This track is off the hizzle. 10.

2. Hideaway

Aid: That's a movie, so you lose some points on originality, but this ice cream really hits the spot so I'll give you a 6-ish.

Sunny: I love movies and I love this song but I didn't get any ice cream. 3.

3. Stranger In A Strange Land

Aid: Oh this one scares me with its ghetto loving. B you be on the right track. 7.5

Sunny: I have to agree, this one just excretes ghetto loving. B never nailed the hammer better than before like a Stranger in a Strange Land. 7.5

4. It's Up To You

Aid: Meh. 5

Sunny: I like it because it's abstract. And just look at all those vowels in the title! 8.

5. Night of My Life

Aid: Tell me the dirty sticky details, Babs. Then again, actually don't. 7

Sunny: This one really took the effort out of forcing myself to cry. It was beautiful and it made me feel beautiful because you're beautiful and so are our lawyers and investigators and every gas station attendant that's paid me such loving attention. You've touched me. 6.

6. Above the Law

Aid: Oh she's DANGEROUS NOW! Barry hold that mad whore back, I'm in love! 9.5

Sunny: I only heard my name once. 5.

7. Without Your Love (Along The Way)

Aid: Along the way to where? And without who's love? Barrys? I don't get it. 5?

Sunny: Brackets in song titles always deserve a 10.

8. All The Children

Aid: MY CHILDREN! MY CHILDREN! MY CHILDREN! NOT MY CHILDREN! 0.5

Sunny: No.

9. Golden Dawn

Aid: This is where Babs lets loose. If I'm not mistaken she's talking golden showers. Sounds pretty and ethnic. 8.3333333

Sunny: Babs taps the dawn with her golden voice and makes me dream of unicorns, dolphins, uni-dolphins and chicken of the sea. 9.

10. (Our Love) Don't Throw It All Away

Aid: Words in brackets BEFORE the title! You're breaking boundaries and lines and things! Is this even LEGAL! 7

Sunny: I HARDLY THINK SO? 8.

11. Letting

Aid: Letting WHAT. Is this one incomplete? I don't even understand its giving me cramps. 5

Sunny: Not enough words in the title. 7.

Now I just want to leave you crazy kids with one everlasting thought. Where's Barry's hand going? And does that explain Babs face. That's nasty, I love it.

SONG of LE SUNDAY: LE TIGRE - DECEPTACON

Weekends and Leather

2005-09-29T00:48:00.000-04:00

The EX FRIENDS fight war, hunger, and peace all in a days work. With guns and expletives. We're hard at work on our sophmore album titled DEADLINE and we've already banged out a few hit tracks such as "Free English Classes (Lies)", "Softcore Romance", "Fight the People", and "Its Still Bleeding". Our latest singles.

Sunnys off fighting word crimes and doing photoshoots at the moment, leaving me alone to run and record everything like the band man I AM. What happened to TEAM BAND? Well they're in need of drugs. Seriously. Any kind is appreciated.

I'd also like to say that now with my new higher purpose in life as a driver, we need some sort of EXPLETIVE MOBILE. So someone find us one.

Watch out for some expletives at THE PHEONIX tomorrow night, kids.

run, run, rum.

aid

TUESDAY SONG OF THE DAY

2005-09-27T18:10:00.000-04:00

The Future is in the Future by Electric Six

2005-09-27T17:54:00.000-04:00

CONGRATULATIONS TO STUDENT DRIVER AIDEN RHODES FOR FINALLY GETTING HIS LICENSE!

you go guy, get those points.

ROCK N ROLL!

MENAGE A FRAUD

2005-09-25T23:46:00.000-04:00

i just caught "martha behind bars" on cbs, a made for tv movie based on martha stewart's time behind bars for insider trading, starring cybill sheppard as stewart herself.

before i could change the channel to save myself from learning things i already knew, something caught my eye. martha was just about to walk back into her jail cottage when i realised she was actually walking in to humber college, specifically the campus on lakeshore blvd in toronto where i attended for a year of tomschoolery before graduating.

the school was cleverly chosen for its exterior shots which apparently resemble prison. click here. and then here.

speaking of convicted felons, the expletive friends are in the midst of yet ANOTHER concert month. we've got great lineups and are NERVOUS yet STOKED for METRIC, this thursday.

i know we've been neglecting the website lately, but like my mom says, "..."

luvluvluvluvluvluvluvuluvlvu.

sunny
x

and happy birthday mummy. xx.

SUNDAY SONG OF THE DAY

2005-09-18T23:36:00.000-04:00

We Are Gonna Be Friends by the White Stripes

the white stripes at molson amp 9/16/05

THE DEADLINES would have been an awesome band name so it's what we named our follow up album (THE DEADLINE) currently in progress as is the first album and that video we mentioned a few times times.

like many sophomore albums, this one takes on a more mature sound but still tries to maintain the integrity of its previous album, GUNS N CANDY.

in a nutshell, we made a new website. well, aiden....no. we made a new website.

enjoy.

sunn-eighhh!

x

LORD, LORD, MOTHER, YOU'RE ALL LOSING LOVE.

2005-09-07T03:34:00.000-04:00

its already gone.

ESCALATING DEATH TOLLS - HURRICANE KATRINA

2005-09-05T22:36:00.000-04:00

LUCAS OLENIUK/TORONTO STAR
Louis Miller says he pinned a tag to his undershirt with his name and phone number on it so he could be identified if he died in the flood waters of New Orleans. He continues to look for his family.

i can't say anything that hasn't already been said. it's all been said before and now it all sounds cliche. "my heart goes out to the victims of..." "best wishes to those..." "it's a tragedy no one could've prevented..." and while i'd still mean as well as the next person - it's all been said.

to be honest, i wouldn't know what to do. if i ever lost someone i cared so much about and was preparing myself to die and was worrying about someone identifying my dead body to eventually notify my missing family i don't think i could take "hanging in there" and take your "best wishes" to save my family and waiting days upon days for help.

is there something more we could do, less actually going down there and helping out survivors ourselves? donate money. donate blood. donate rations.

the government.
armed fifteen year olds.
conspiracies.
humanity.
marshall law.
anarchy.
suicides.
chained pets.

let's find a way to help each other out.

the i'm ok registry

additional relief and aid links

(thanks to axa and ooo at buzznet)

IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT

2005-09-05T22:03:00.000-04:00

for sunny. not aiden. sunny is going to school! as in aiden is temporarily a college dropout and has ORAL FLUSH that he insists on showing everyone. it's not for the weak at heart so I WARN THEE. click on it. it's gross.

so enough about aiden.

i'm going back to school tomorrow so gigs will obviously slow down a little, little bit. fear not, updates will be often, if not bi-annually, and i'll always be thinking about happy summer memories. like that time when... hmm. or that time when! .... um, right.

tomorrow school starts but the best part of tomorrow is when the EXPLETIVE FRIENDS PIMP MY RIDE. to make it a little less sunfire and a little more awesome. pics to follow.

the 'hoff man still got it. check out those reviews!

i need CPR,

sunny
x

I WON'T HIT YOU

2005-08-31T02:21:00.000-04:00

learning the true way of the rock star, the expletive friends went to niagara falls, ontario to sign autographs. well, we tried to on several occasions but instead, we charlie horsed ourselves walking up and down clifton hill...and the entire surrounding area. twice. at least.

here's what some fans had to say at the autograph session:

"i've never heard them talk in real life before! i didn't know they were russian,"
- lady wearing the gang colours

"they ruined my leafs jersey and vandalized it with misspellings!"
- man in the polyester shirt

after enjoying the autograph session, the band made like tourists and got ALL RUDE UP IN IT. if you've noticed something different about the falls, we're not sorry yet 'cause it's still funny and if we didn't offend you yesterday we definitely will try harder in the future.

thanks for coming, guys! we didn't spend a lot of time together due to said activities but i'm sure we'll probably, might meet again, maybe.

I PUT MY THANG DOWN FLIP IT AND REVERSE IT.

with clogs and expletives,
sunny
x

THE END OF SUMMER: WORLD WAR TOUR

2005-08-25T05:43:00.000-04:00

i've had this senseless craving for condiments all week. plain condiments. mostly ketchup, but how many things can i think of to make to put ketchup on before i start taking it right out the bottle? man. ketchup's awesome.

aiden's been losing small battles with inanimate objects lately and i'm sort of worried for him. but give him nineteen creamers for his coffee and he's a happy little bitch. so if he's a happy little bitch then so am i.

now since we're clearly ready to take on the world, we're on tour again. THE END OF SUMMER: WORLD WAR TOUR tour!

i'll be touring solo (with an entourage) up north in grand bend, north...something, ontario, canada and then with THE EXPLETIVE FRIENDS on monday in niagara falls, ontario, canada. since i've already developed a taste for the slots last weekend, the band has decided to follow the notion that we're an assful of luck and should try to test both our asses and our luck to make enough money for the ride home.

does anyone happen to be coming and happen to also be heading back to toronto after the show on monday? let me know, thanks.

needs a shilling or two,
sunny
x

HUSSY HOUSE FRENCH FRIES

2005-08-21T04:25:00.000-04:00

you are beautiful no matter what they say
words can't bring you down
you are beautiful in every single way
yes, words can't bring you down (OHH NO NO NOOO)
so don't you bring me down today

smile. tear.

KARATE KOMMANDER KIDS

2005-08-16T03:05:00.000-04:00

if you take a look to your right-hand side you'll see the website layout guy (aiden) has added photos to the side of the page for pure visual glee. and cuz it looked like something should be there.

new karate outfits. er, uniforms.

no...
outfits.

ignore the bangs, thanks.

HUSTLE
EMERGENCY
PANIC
DISCO

foxtrot uniform charlie kilo & love expletives,
sunny
x

TRANSCRIPT CULT FM

2005-08-11T00:06:00.000-04:00

08/05/05 CULT FM EAST COAST RADIO HEADQUARTERS

EAST COAST RADIO (MF) - Michael Philip Collins, radio host of CULT FM East Coast Radio, introduces himself to the Expletive Friends who somehow make it down to the Canadian east coast from Toronto, Ontario without any form of recollection.

DJ Michael Philip Collins: How did you even get here?
Aiden: What the fuck do you mean 'how did you even get here' I'm here aren't I, what do you want a fucking announcement every time anyone enters the PRECIOUS EAST COAST? Why don't I just stand on this chair right now and fucking yell it because everyone fucking -
Sunny: Aiden is reacting to a Rolaid. It's the sugar. He's also kind of angry because he's wearing the same outfit as the lady standing over there behind the glass.

Everyone turns to see a prostitute leaning on the glass looking in to the studio.

DJMPC: So your latest single "Chlamydia the Silent Killer" just hit the top 100 charts after only 63 weeks, what were your reactions like?
S: I took up bass when I was about 12 years old and haven't stopped playing since.
A: Good.

DJMPC: Uh, you guys can't shoot -
A: This is lame, I can't ever do anything I want to do! Why is everything never about ME!

Aiden stomps off swearing and flipping off the good crew at CULT FM.

S: Thanks for having us!

Sunny trashes her chair and thanks "British Columbia for being so beautiful !".

baby, you got to signal before you turn.

2005-08-06T05:18:00.000-04:00

It seems that once again the HEAT are after the Expletives. We can't help our glam-rock demeanor anymore than you can your bad hair, but it's starting to get us in some unwanted trouble. Expletive. After a jam session or two or eight and our continual video shoot we headed home unknowning that we were being FOLLOWED. I know, sounds dangerous, but we're used to it. It's all just part of our lifestyle of rock, love, danger and drugs.

We tried good and hard to lose the tail, but they got the best of us and we ended up being pulled over. Seems officer bitch thought we were pushing the limits of speed and sound at the wee hours of 3 in the morning. I took it partially as a compliment until he continually accused me of having a drug habit that I was almost ready to break down and confess. Truth be told, I wasn't HIGH nor DRUNK, just tired. Tired of his ATTITUDE. And clearly the show was on SUNNY, decked out in her authentic mardi gras beads, leatherwear and whoreface, she was the attention stealer.

Although, being the major fan that he was he let us slide on the speeding and only left us this note to remember him by:

"NO LIGHT LAMP LEFT OFF BURNT

love, Tony"

Thanks officer, I'll never forget your beautiful beady little eyes.

All night, all night, all night

Aiderz.

FOREIGN JIBBA JABBA

2005-08-05T14:59:00.000-04:00

so apparently it's friday and it's pretty much just been a blur since monday. ah, summer.

so we've been busy giggin' and gigglin' and interviewin' promoting THE EXPLETIVE TOUR. aiden's flipped off and stomped out on every journalist on the east coast so far and hopefully he'll throw in some foreign/canadian jibba jabba in there to either sound smart / confuse and offend everyone the more westward we go. and southbound. uh, anywhere really would be kinda cool.

so we've been banned from the east coast. it's not our fault MICHAEL PHILIP COLLINS of CULT FM didn't know what chlamydia was and it's not our fault we used our routine to perform it.

INVITE US TO YOUR TOWN!

"only touch the one you want to take"

or kung fu grip it, which ever.

we'll karaoke all night long
we'll macarena til the break of dawn
we'll drive around til the morning light
all night all night all night all night all night.....

with love and expletives,
sunny
x

EXPLETIVE VIEW FROM THE TOP

2005-08-01T05:13:00.000-04:00

EXPLETIVE FRIEND UPDATE-O-MATIC:

foregoing a round of shooting golf at a local golf court due to possibly-rainy weather, the expletive friends cleverly decide to wait out the rain and shoot golf after it rained for an uninterrupted, rewarding and adult supervised GOLF-OFF CHALLENGE EVENT (practising our golf swings).

meanwhile - waiting to wait out the rain, we workaholic rockers scout for more video shooting locations (ALMOST DONE, K). we decide on something with a view and me being the smarter, sharper, wittier, lead-ier singer slash bass team player, THE FRIENDS are atop centennial hill. it doubles as a ski hill in the winter months.

so we climb up the black diamond.

and then roll down it.

and then spend an hour trying to find a pin - in the dark on this massive hill - aiden loses but ends up finding in his pocket.

since there wasn't enough light (or, any) on the hill, filming was slightly difficult. however we do have a blurry view of the 'burbs in the background and as bonus you can hear aiden being a jerk and trying to steal my shoes. they're a simple pair of black flats that are orange on the inside in case you're wondering 'cause you won't be able to see any of that in this footage, that's for sure!

(expletive heart)
sunny
x

EXPLETIVE MIDNIGHT CIVIC HOLIDAY BARBECUE

2005-08-01T05:11:00.000-04:00

EXPLETIVE FRIEND UPDATE-O-MATIC section b, round 2, rule 18, verse 41, corinthians:

so, conclusively ditching the golf court, THE EXPLETIVE FRIENDS hold an impromptu EXPLETIVE MIDNIGHT CIVIC HOLIDAY BARBECUE and i set the right side of my body aflame.

and this is my right BASS hand still feeling like it's on fire:

luckily, everything is still intact, my air bass hasn't suffered and my eyebrow / bang count is right on the dot.

aiden takes over the grill and works some super pita magic (!) with nothing but pitas, cheese, tostitos salsa and a coy smile possibly due to a gravol suppository he "didn't" take earlier.

HAPPY CIVIC HOLIDAY! (whatever that is.)

sunny
x

sweeeeeeeeeee-ee-e-eeet surrender

JAY V SAVES LIVES

2005-07-27T00:39:00.000-04:00

let him save yours as he saved mine.

I AM A BASS PLAYER AND I PROJECT MY VOICE CONFIDENTLY!

EVERYTHING WILL NEVER BE OKAY

2005-07-26T23:23:00.000-04:00

have you ever hated a song so much it made you cringe? but it's been in your head all day long and you can't get that one part out of your head and it plays over and over and over again? and then when you try to distract yourself, whatever you're distracting yourself with reminds you of something and then you get a new song stuck in your head only to eventually have two songs stuck in your head, sometimes three or even four?

someone noticed after i tell a story that's somewhat in reference to myself, that if it's the first time telling it i'll explain it well. but if i've told said story even once to anyone before, i won't remember it after, possibly on purpose, 'cause someone's already heard it before and i hate telling stories twice. honestly.

like that "if pete and repeat were on a boat and pete fell off who would be left on the boat (a: repeat)" "JOKE" for lack of a better word really, really pisses me off.

anyway. the expletive friends are ready to offend you with one of our upcoming music vids. and may have possibly already offended the night staff of best buy and the adjoining staples business depot. we're not sure what you were all doing inside your stores at 1 am and closed to the public but i bet you weren't sure either what we were doing with your shopping carts. so let's call it even.

we're still piecing it together as we're only a party of two, or three sometimes, but it's definitely coming together nicely, sort of. definitely.

DANCE, BITCH!

EXPLETIVE.

sunny
x

V-1-5-POINT-8-5

2005-07-21T06:33:00.000-04:00

OR..."feed-one-fire-point-and-fire".

i questioned myself when i thought i heard the word "fire" too many times in CONTROLLER.CONTROLLER's "sleep over it", so i thought i'd look it up. i look up the fire inquiry and it turns out CONTROLLER.CONTROLLER is singing not about feeding or pointing or even FIRING but are singing in code.

V-1-5-point-8-5 is a health center code referenced in "sleep over it". it's the code "which refers to the exchange of potentially hazardous bodily fluids. The runner-up was 6-0-7 point 8-4, which is impotence, but I thought this was funnier.", nirmala basnayake, lead singer of CONTROLLER.CONTROLLER explains.

and she's totally right.

lee's palace is where CONTROLLER.CONTROLLER, CAMOUFLAGE NIGHTS, VHS OR BETA (and of course THE EXPLETIVE FRIENDS) decided to participate in the exchange of potentially hazardous bodily fluids with a loyal and kinky audience, except THE EXPLETIVE FRIENDS were too tired and had a headache thus showcasing only seventy-three of the 89 remixed versions of "chlamydia the silent killer" in our ten-minute time frame.

OH. and CONTROLLER.CONTROLLER didn't even do "sleep over it" but on the plus side i can add this one to "the songs i've fucked up all the lyrics to list but don't care to correct myself cause the lyrics i heard were probably way awesome if not as awesome than the actual original lyrics list". or for short it would be the SFULLDCCMLHWPWAAAOLL list.

feed.
one.
fire.
point and fire.

your (expletive) friend,
sunny
xxxxx

YOU GOT ME FEELIN' HELLA GOOD

2005-07-19T05:11:00.000-04:00

just standing around innocently having an expletive friend dance-off in the parking lot by the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation donation bins, we were interrupted by officer sassyfuck.

as we're quick ro realise how typical it is for suburban kids to be hanging out in a parking lot, we had an agenda. (and just to n.b. we were across the parking lot where all the actual cool suburban kids were hanging out so as to not taint their area - with awesome. heh.)

"evening - what are you guys up to tonight?" he asks, studying our moves.

"just hanging out?" aiden stops and answers. i was just wrapping up some fresh hip hop salsa jazz fusion move i invented.

"causing any trouble?"

"nah?" aiden answers looking at me reassuringly. i was out of breath and couldn't hear a word of the conversation so i nodded.

"just idiots?"

idiots? i stopped. paused. i paused thinking he was honestly calling the kids in the other parking lot idiots. somehow i pieced that together myself. i didn't ask why or think about the logic, i just went with it. plus i liked his hair.

i shrugged with this dumb smile on my face like, yeah sure i guess they're idiots.

i look at aiden. sassyfuck looks at us. aiden looks at me. he looks at aiden. aiden looks back. i look at sassyfuck. sassyfuck looks at aiden again. i look at a puppy far off in the distance. sassyfuck looks at me. i look at aiden again. aiden looks at me again. i look at sassyfuck again. sassyfuck looks at his watch. sassyfuck looks at me finally . dumb smile on my face.

aiden mentions something about minding our own business. officer sassyfuck fucks off with a "be good" line and leaves us alone.

"did he just call us idiots?" we say at the same time in our heads using our ESP umbilical cord hi-speed rogers internet connection.

after discussing whether he called us idiots or not for a few minutes in our heads back and forth, we were eventually insulted and burned so bad we stomped off in a huff in to our spaceship and blasted back home to space where we were accepted by others of our kind.

true story.

so anyway, inspired by tonight's events, the sixth single has finally been written completing a long awaited ep.

concerts are lined up and interviews will be granted at a maximum.

now leave me alone i'm fucking tired.

[expletive]

sunny
x

THE GUNS AND CANDY (tentative) EP

1. CHLAMYDIA THE SILENT KILLER
2. TURNING TRICKS
3. LADIES OF THE EVENING
4. HAVING THE SEX
5. JUST IDIOTS (OFFICER SASSYFUCK REMIX)

HIDDEN TRACK: YOU WANT SOME OF THIS

Come with us for a ride in our spaceship!

2005-07-15T14:23:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, me and sunny got down and dirty and finally started filming our first musak video of the year. And I know you're all asking, "What song is our first single?" But the real point isn't about WHAT song it is, it's about how awesome we look in it. Isn't that what being an artist is all about? While our video is still in production, we've put together this little visual feast of what went down last night. Watch out kids, all the bling and bitches in this might be a little too much for you to take in all at once, but its all there.

YOU WANT SOME OF THIS,

Aiderz.

BEST SHOW EVER - OPERA HOUSE, Toronto

2005-07-13T16:14:00.000-04:00

last night's show was an incredibly sweaty and titillating experience for myself and maybe aiden too, who knows, who cares!

we had two openers (MYSTERY BAND AND THE DEAD 60S) plus ourselves and finally, THE BRAVERY. the mystery band and the dead 60s are from england so there was a tonne of foreign energy around and i wasn't uncomfortable about it at all. and aiden only cried twice.

after the show we worked on a photoshoot and here's what we're thinking of submitting as our promo cover:

i like how particularly blurry i am in the background and the lines make my chest look particularly outstanding.

we also worked out an additional single to follow-up "CHLAMYDIA THE SILENT KILLER" and "TURNING TRICKS". "LADIES OF THE EVENING" is a slow-ho-mo ballad in which aiden and i sing back-up vocals to our own song.

i feel the same as you but twice as excited.

[expletive]

sunny
xx

SUNNY PLAYS THE AIR BASS

2005-07-10T06:34:00.000-04:00

at the pixies/weezer concert and doesn't get recognized. it probably started off as air guitar anyway but i was frequently distracted from dodging all the karate chops and elbows to the face coming from aiden rhodes (alias "HERMAN D. RAMMER")that my air bass was all conflicted and therefore RUINED and UNRECOGNIZED and all a part of aiden's secret conspiracy to have me ruin the EXPLETIVE FRIENDS' good name.

I AM SO ON TO YOU. BRING IT, BITCH!

weezer didn't bring it. specifically 'in the garage' and 'surf wax america'. i almost ask myself, what was the point? what WAS the point? not to say it was a bad concert but obviously the point of it was to promote their new stuff. whatever. yeah yeah yeah. i'm gonna listen to the blue album and cry myself to sleep.

ps the pixies were awesome, obviously. i just wish i was a bigger fan of the pixies and generally a bigger fan of weezer's new stuff and especially wish i was an even bigger fan of huge amphitheatre type concert venues.

pps aiden is addicted sleeping pills.

peace out.

[expletive]-ing sunny

xx

STATING THE OBVIOUS

2005-07-06T20:08:00.000-04:00

malefic tattoos in streetsville, ont.

the artists at malefic were so patient and everything was so clean. i was so stoked when it was my turn to get inked that i couldn't sit down and everything was on wheels and i kept pushing everything around by accident that i basically had to stand until she was ready with her equipment so i could get in The Chair.

i was trying to describe over the phone what i wanted to get.

"it's just lettering. it's like, a four letter word. (pause) oh! no...like, it's not like that even though that would be kind of cool but - (silence). um. 'love'. i want 'love' written on the inside of my elbow."

smooth.

the unveiling is tomorrow. (16-19 hours from now).

[expletive]-ing sunny

xx

and who would've thought it'd be the 2 of us

2005-07-04T02:43:00.000-04:00

A certain band mate who will remain annonymous has BITCHED ME OUT for not applying myself properly to this blog. So here it is childrenlovers, here's a little post going out to all of our fans.

I hope some of you, but not ALL cuz that would make me feel NEGLECTED, caught a glimpse of our own SUNNY who did a small one man tour SOUTH OF THE BORDER this weekend. I've heard it was full of GLITZ, GLAM, ROCK and a little bit of RAUNCH. Everything a good show should be.

Now, our CONCERT LIST for the month of JULY is:

JULY 9 - PIXIES & WEEZER
JULY 12 - THE BRAVERY
JULY 20 - CONTROLLER.CONTROLLER
JULY 28 - DEATH FROM ABOVE 1979

killing you softly with his song,

AIDERZ

IT'S CANADA DAY

2005-07-01T04:08:00.000-04:00

yeah, that's it.

xx

THE PROM TOUR

2005-06-28T15:10:00.000-04:00

so we're in the prime of prom season and the EXPLETIVE FRIENDS are WAY prepared. we have prom outfits. well, will.

anyway, THE PROM TOUR will hit your school up and will be your unofficial guests! when we decide to kick your school's lameass local asses band asses out of your auditorium or rented facility you will feel the EXPLETIVE rise out of your mouths, limbs, heart, soul and genital(s).

be prepared cause you'll never experience such a visual assault to the eyes like the EXPLETIVE SHOW will.

is lamé still in? yeah...yeah, you're right, of course it is.

[expletive]-ing sunny

xx

BEHIND THESE BLACK BEADY LITTLE EYES

2005-06-22T16:27:00.000-04:00

broken up! deep inside! you won't hear the tears i cried!

asking me to cut up a chicken with a butcher knife is an idea that just shouldn't have occurred to absolutely anyone, period. leaving me alone with the chicken to cut it up with a butcher knife, of all things, is passive aggressively asking someone to fuck up, with serious entertainment value on their part. it's like asking aiden to put together a puzzle. the two just don't mix.

the aftermath in either situation is to pass the buck and ask an experience friend or loved one finish it for you. 'cause they care, you know?

[expletive]-ing sunny

xx

TEAM WOODCOCK VS TEAM PUSSYWILLOW

2005-06-20T05:33:00.000-04:00

push.
strangle.
boogie down.

AND THEN THERE WAS BEIGE

2005-06-19T16:55:00.000-04:00

while aiden messes up and tries to find ways to pull off beige pants i've been busy working on the TEAM ALBUM. except i made this:

having absolutely no use for anything: i made this. maybe i'll put it in the liner notes - i don't know. but probably not cause i don't think we can afford liner notes. we're gonna mass produce copies of only our hit singles (2005-2005) or what hit singles we expect to be hits some time (tentative) sans anything fancy, like liner notes. pfft. liner notes.

anyway, we've been totally slacking in every aspect imagineable but with this being evidence i'm scared enough to work harder and pay attention to where my time is going.

[expletive]-ing sunny

DANGER IS MY MIDDLE NAME. aiden's is sarah.

2005-06-15T01:17:00.000-04:00

this tornado watch has brought out the best and the worst in us. being informed of this extreme weather, i felt, as aiden's lifeguard, compelled to guard others' lives...'cause aiden was busy tanning or something.

so i warned some friends of mine who were heading out for a bike ride. however i may or may not have sounded like i was joking around as the only reason they explained why they didn't go out was "well, it was raining,".

"well, it was raining."

this lifeguard is off duty. 'til tomorrow.

when batman begins.

[expletive]-ing sunny

x

bullets meant for me

2005-06-13T13:13:00.000-04:00

THE WHITE STRIPES: Get Behind Me Satan
Awesome tracks: 1) Blue Orchid 2) The Nurse 3) My Doorbell 10) Take, Take, Take 6) The Denial Twist

GORILLAZ: Demon Days
Awesome tracks: 6) Feel Good Inc 12) Dare 14) Don't Get Lost In Heaven 5) Dirty Harry 10) All Alone 3) Kids With Guns

GARBAGE: Bleed Like Me
Awesome tracks: 2) Run Baby Run 5) Bleed Like Me 6) Metal Heart 7) Sex is Not the Enemey 9) Boys Wanna Fight

Check them out mothers, get something good on.

Aiderz.

Projects Take Longer Than Expected

2005-06-13T05:24:00.000-04:00

the EXPLETIVE FRIENDS decided to take a hiatus on the whole video-making thing. we've already prolonged it a couple of times but this hiatus seems indefinite. our video crew is going away next week, so, she's busy...leaving AID and i.

finding trick ways to tape two people in one scene with two people and no tripods is a bit of a challenge for the EXPLETIVE FRIENDS. a challenge we had to turn down for the mean time.

however, other projects are still in the works and by god if we can help it - we WILL stop leaving them all half done and get around to finishing them off.

poor aiden who took this very sign's advice. in english and french.

sunny x

ps. i discovered MAXIMO PARK on the wedge the other day and quite enjoy their single "graffiti".

SWEET NEW SITE. AWESOME!

2005-06-11T04:17:00.000-04:00

thanks to AID and his MAGI-GRAPHI-HANDS, a sweet new site is breaking it down and REPRAZENTIN' THE EX FRIENDS on "THE INTERWEB SPACENET INTERNET...WEB. SPACE.". this look is WAY AWESOME and i totally take back anything negative i said about your paint splatter graphic.

i THINK i hate BJORK. that's awful; hating. but she is, and i do. she's all weird and artsy and her own individual, ok, that's great but she sounds pretty fu*king awful. fuck! ah, there. i thought she was great when i was a hip 16-year-old-teenager but i liked her despite what my peers thought and here we are 6 years later, i realise that THAT WAS the ONLY reason why i liked her. she's awful. just. just, don't. please. i need a minute to myself.

my computer just crashed hardcore for about 20 mins and i popped in some cd that said APPLICATIONS on it and here we are. I'M AWESOME!

peace out.

luvluvlulvuluvluvluluvluvu

sunny

watch out kiddies, here we come.

2005-06-11T01:38:00.000-04:00

To celebrate our 20th hit we've got ourselves a DAMN OFFICIAL looking layout! We're on our way to superstardom now, motherlovers.

Watch out for some interesting news coming soon to THIS.

Meet me on the darkside,

Aiderz.

back to normal

2005-06-06T01:54:00.000-04:00

i've reclaimed a slight somewhat insomnia and it's almost like i'm proud. ok, it's not exactly insomnia but i've fairly recently discovered that i don't like being up during the day. i love the sun. i love the outdoors to some extent. but i love being up all night and watching the sun rise.

if it was up to me i wouldn't sleep at all.

things are clear to me at night. i get all my work done at night. it's quiet. it's just nice.

i can already hear aiderz: "AAAAAND???"

aaaaand...niagara's been postponed so new dates for that will also be posted asap.

AAAND only 1 more day til GET BEHIND ME SATAN.

AAAND congratulations to JACK WHITE! WAY TO TIE THE KNOT.

-sunny

humber money dress

2005-06-01T23:40:00.000-04:00

before i fell asleep i made sure to myself that i wouldn't forget three important things to do as soon as i woke up. of course 'cause i'm so clever i thought remembering three key words to remember the 3 important things would be a foolproof way to remember the 3 important things when i wake up.

humber.
money.
dress.

so of course i wake up and my waking thoughts are humber?, money?, dress?. well, actually it was more OMG WHAT DAY IS IT *checks time* making the 3 important things technically my second waking thoughts.

money's a given, today was pay day. but the rest...i guess i'll just have to make up.

there's no such thing as foolproof.

6 more days til GET BEHIND ME SATAN.

AWESOME!

it's f[expletive]-ing SUNNY

the expletive friends go down south!

2005-05-31T17:21:00.000-04:00

next week we'll be in the niagara falls region so you can come out and check out aiden's new haircut which slightly resembles a very ladylike version of demi moore's in GI JANE. way to go, aiden! you van dyke.

our music videos are still in production as they are a lot more work than they look like on tv. they are coming along, however, and can't wait to see the final product! (air date will be posted in near future)

cult rumours semi-false

2005-05-30T01:21:00.000-04:00

to straighten out FACT from FICTION, i WAS in a cult for a brief period of time. they told me i was signing up for pottery class and before i knew it i've moved in to a small ranch way out in the outskirts of i'm still not sure where. they told me to pack a gown and a cape but i only had a gown so i swiped one of aiden's. i also took some of his shirts.

a few years later, i quit, realising that pottery was never on our daily agenda and when refused a refund i stormed out in to what looks like a golf court and cursed aloud in french for the remainder of the day.

i learned my lesson.

thanks for your support southern quebec, YOU ROCK!

BREAKING NEWS, KIDS.

2005-05-28T22:56:00.000-04:00

Just this morning we were given notice of a concerning situation regarding a certain band mate. While we all assumed SUNNY was off touring southern Quebec for promotional purposes, the truth came crashing down through our glass houses today. Deep. Brace yourself because this one is a shocker; Sunny has quite possibly entangled herself in the culty-ways of a CULT. Yes SUNNY. Little SUNNY who likes long walks on the bitch, roller-skating, beat boxing, and now apparently cult worshipping, needs your help!

Don’t believe us? Well neither did we until we were given this HARD FACT evidence. A loving fan of mine sent this last known sighting of SUNNY in to help us out in a time of need. Now this photograph is not to be taken lightly. Even the mere sight of it can draw you in and CONSUME you with it's culty worshippy powers. Stare at it too long and you too might be in need of our HELP.

Now everyone pray for her safe return as we figure out a PLAN of ACKTION! OK!

Aiderz OUT.

expletive friend forgets he's in band

2005-05-17T16:30:00.000-04:00

aiden, as much as we're all FAN of him, has been away and sick for a very long time. he's forgotten he's in a band which explains why i've been the only one jamming during band practice.

this:

...was the last time i'd seen him and haven't seen him since he wheeled away, flipping me the bird and saluting goodbye.

he's back now and would like to give him a BIG WELCOME AND GET WELL SOON HUG.

as for me, i'm getting better but may have caught aiden's SICKNESS.

i'm ok now.

sunny

Save Sunny Foundation

2005-05-17T16:14:00.000-04:00

while sunny's recently been stealing the spotlight from me, aka the lead main man of the band, i'm gonna have to give her props for doing so in her current condition. here's some photographic evidence at how STRONG that crazy little bitch is. and DIRTY. let's all send out a little prayer for her wellbeing, or that someone even more awesome takes her place if she gets WORSE and i clearly have to move on. but let's hope it doesnt come down to that. sunny truly is handicapable.

EVIDENCE.

the little tranny that could.

aiderz off.

sick expletive friend buys otc drugs

2005-05-17T04:00:00.000-04:00

the band and i stopped shop at a highly favoured, popular drugstore to buy some highly favoured, popular OTC drugs: medicated lozenges, pepto bismol in tablet form and some advil liqui-gels.

unfortunately i've come down with some sick head cold so that future impromptu show i may or may not have mentioned will be cancelled until further notice.

sleep the night fantastic, lovers.

kissing off,

sunny

dyslexic insomniac announces music video shoot

2005-05-15T03:39:00.000-04:00

announcement: upcoming music video shoot!

i can't sleep anymore. sleeping sucks!

it would be AWESOME. if we could dance!

i'm twenty stories tall i am a giant towering above it all
strong and defiant i am a giant

so, the EXPLETIVE FRIENDS are busy as usual. this time we're filming a music video, maybe several. i don't want to give too much away but let's just say WE HEAR A SOUND AND IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE CARES!

flag off.

luvluvluvluvluv.

sunny

the expletive top 5

2005-05-10T04:18:00.000-04:00

sunny's expletive top 5 favourite ways to annoy aiden

5. rejecting viewership of anything in the horror genre
4. following trucks, consequently, getting lost on the highway
3. screwing up ALL the words to his favourite songs
2. telling him to shut up
1. i buy the same shirts as him

sunny's expletive top 5 reasons that answer "why is aiden being a bitch?"

5. he's on his manperiod
4. he's tired
3. unexpected guests on the set of our british sitcom (thanks for any subtle hinting)
2. my tambourine solo is longer than his keyboard solo thus questioning his importance in the band
1. cause he's enduring any/all of above (see "sunny's expletive top 5 favourite ways to annoy aiden")

the expletive top 5 reasons it's awesome to be expletive!

5. classes offered on HOW TO LIVE WITH THE PAPARAZZI
4. a space posse is free with purchase of band membership (band memberships no longer available, sorry!)
3. EXTREME ROAD TRIPS!
2. rocking out is always TOP priority on "the expletive list of things to do today" check list
1. cause it's awesome to be awesome!

sunny slips in long essay on the art of being bored

2005-05-09T05:36:00.000-04:00

sunday night/monday morning. since friday night, in the last 48 hours or so i've slept exactly nine hours, fourty-seven minutes. more than a legitimate insomniac, less than whom a very legitimate rockstar like myself would need in order to continue applying the basic motor skills of life such as eating, speaking, spanking, walking and clapping.

and i'm wide awake.

in these several spare hours, i've had time to think. time to think about life and the vast melee of sequined phrases she speaks.

life. she always talks about the good times and when she makes you think of them there's always, always, always an awesome soundtrack unzipping life's story in to a montage of dangerously good times full of glitz -nudity, violence, bad language- and glamour. speaking for myself of course.

but what happens in between each quote-unquote "song" that plays? there's an obvious pause tainting your awesome life montage. maybe even a hiccup. those happen so fast, like a tear in the ass of your pants, hardly noticeable, but when you stop and wonder what it is you probably wonder if it's what you think it is. a blip? an imperfection in your life of glitz and high rolling glam full of celebrity high profile wondermen and et cetera?

no. it's a souless downer that bum rushes the good times. boredom is your enemy. boredom is finding out that there's nothing else to do. or even worse: you just finished doing everyone and anything else there was to do in the first place.

saturday. saturday was our road trip to fascinating* markham, ontario for the quiksilver skate demo. add links here. with the demo being the centre of attention, markham is any gal's favourite excuse to get down and ca-raz-ay.

you probably wouldn't think that travelling from one suburbia to another that there would be anything to do. oh - and there wasn't.

but in a 12 hour span, between markham and our motherland, aiden and i had managed to peruse 3 shopping malls, witness 1 skate demo, almost eat at a restaurant named ithaca (and use their facilities) before settling for lick's, hit a bucket of balls at the driving range /and/ play mini-golf and, AND design metaphorically colourful tattoos.

each stop was like one careful, thoughtful transition. a smooth ride, spaceman. so don't let suburbia get you down. in fact, "get UP". end advice.

be careful out there, bitches. don't let him get you. have yourself a fruity mixed-drink, put on your tankinis, listen to some jazz and fight that ever-trendy bum rusher and save yourselves. learn it. love it. bite your finger. say my name.

may the force be with you.

EXPLETIVE FRIENDS go on tour in southern ontario!

2005-04-29T13:32:00.000-04:00

another awesome show! we've got two songs now and did we ever rock SOUTHERN ONTARIO!

we opened for an obscure band many of you probably have never heard of yet but they're called THE BOUNTY VAN DYKES and as much as they are kind of our arch-nemeses since AIDEN was kicked out, i'll have to say THE BOUNTY VD rocked the house and warmed up the crowd for the main band THE PRE PROTEENS pretty well.

for our first number CHLAMYDIA THE SILENT KILLER we wanted to "get down" with it but due to all the getting down we would need to practice our routines using complex lip synching technology. but with this being our first public performance we decided instead at the last minute to give our audience a sexual visual assault by getting down with it LIVE.

unfortunately, we got too jiggy with it and were requested to move to the next number.

our second and final number TURNING TRICKS is a number that involved very little choreography so the people at THE CHILDREN'S NETOWRK (our sponsor) were quite pleased with us.

overall, despite the reviews being posted on the internet, i think we did an excellent job for a premiere performance and can't wait to finish the album. it's gonna be WAY FAR OUT! awesome!

THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT SOUTHERN ONTARIO! we can't wait to come back and touch you soon again!

xxx

sun-o-rama

Lost Souls Back With a Vengeance

2005-04-25T21:35:00.000-04:00

slight delay in the progress of our album with me being sick and all, but we're back and ready to rock this shit hard, spaceman. we're heading out on a small tour of southern ontario to get ourselves back together. so if you're in the area this coming wednesday be sure to check us out cuz we'll be live and alive!

more soon ok!

- aid

yeah i know that there's pain, but you hold on for one more day and you break free, break from the chains!

2005-03-23T15:59:00.000-05:00

trannies are among us

2005-03-23T15:00:00.000-05:00

the paparazzi have managed to spread even more rumours and i'm here to confront them as i lie on my sick bed. YES sunny does happen to be a TRANNY, but she manages to pull it off with class. So get over it! OK maybe send a few text messages about her to everyone you know, and make a few tee shirts about it, but thats it. she's a tranny and shes here to stay! and wear my clothes.

totally totally totally,
aid

when the paparazzi spread rumours

2005-03-22T05:07:00.000-05:00

it's only been really like a few weeks in to the E-FRIENDS project and there's already rumours swarming the internet that AIDEN RHODES CARRIES A MAN PURSE.

i'm not one to manifest these rumours but alls i'm going to confirm is that AIDEN RHODES DOES INDEED CARRY A MAN PURSE.

so, we're still working on our first single CHLAMYDIA THE SILENT KILLER. it still has about 29 more remixes to go before we can make a decision. although we'll only be able to choose one version for the final cut, i'm sure there'll be demand for the other 28 versions and will eventually some day release at least 16-17 more versions of the song to our beloved fans in the future.

speaking of fans, we need more. if you're a person and you're reading this, spam this link around the internet and tell everyone THE EXPLETIVE FRIENDS are misusing their, there and they're so frequently it's annoying and therefore must be STOPPED. also make sure their into the strokes and 311.

champagne california on the brain,
stunny

ram her into the ground

2005-03-18T20:38:00.000-05:00

sometimes with all the bandly-ness of us, it's hard to have time to go out and do the things normal people do. shop, eat, hang with friends, patrol. but once our first single hits the air these sacrifices will hopefully prove to be worth it in the end. i'm really counting on it. i know we will. scratch 'counting' and replace with 'knowing'. cuz we're all about success. success, fame, money, and the main point is what the EXPLETIVES are about.

you know, when we first decided to take on this project it was a bit of a scary thought. being EXes we thought there might be some TENSION, but overall we've managed to drink, smoke, eat and do lots of grocery runs without any problems at all. we're almost like a team or even a band, one might say.

our sound is something pretty new and HARDCORE to look out for. its MORE than hardcore. in the words of my good friend and mentor anna loos, "what comes after hardcore?" to which i reply "US".

keep your speedial in check,
aid

2005-03-18T00:43:00.000-05:00

after a long night of pre album release competition in the best routine category, a trip to space is necessary in order to clear our minds

2005-03-17T04:50:00.000-05:00

obligatory pre album release warm up

it's not as easy as it looks

2005-03-16T09:45:00.000-05:00

i've been up all night writing and writing and watching important programming. working. hard.

it's been stressful creating a whole new album from scratch especially when working with an EX SPOUSE who blows smoke in your face and is physically and mentally abusive. not to mention absurd, clumsy, never knows words to songs and is an alcoholic and a rollerskating show-off.

these traits are clearly what make us the greatest team to have ever come in 3rd place. not only did we buy our way to the top but we THE EXPLETIVE FRIENDS are releasing a new album temporarily entitled GUNS AND CANDY. originally it was COTTON CANDY KIDS but that gave it too much of an ashlee simpson / lindsay lohan -ish type of vibe. GUNS AND CANDY has more edge and gets the main point across.

getting the main point across is what the EXPLETIVES are all about. reaching out with one hand and grabbing and groping and touching everyone with our EDGE and RAW techno-inspired ENERGY.

our first single CHLAMYDIA THE SILENT KILLER is in the works and will probably be arranged to be remixed somewhere in europe. don't let silence be your killer.

hugs not drugs,
sunny

and i've got it.

2005-03-13T23:07:00.000-05:00

i'm gonna give it to you.

testing for chlamydia.